Rage Against Death: On Meeting Kevin Smith


You can read the original post on my more personal blog, Misadventures of a Misfit if you want. But this is going to be a bit of that with something else.

Remember how I was going to Wizard World Reno the weekend before Thanksgiving, and then, despite the fact I indeed went to Reno and did go to Wizard World, my posts lacked in any info of my fantastic adventures?

There was a reason.

I was hoping to come back from Reno with fantastic tales of comic con, and loads of pictures of me super excited and looking like a major dork. But instead I came back still battling my body from what can best be described as the worst flare I’ve had since the initial, horrible flare that put me in Barnes hospital for 3 days and started this autoimmune (mis)adventure.

For a few weeks before this trip, I had been very scared that I’d have to have a hysterectomy after my procedure. I had been very scared to find out if I had a cancer I wasn’t bracing for.

The weekend in Reno, however, I was very scared I was going to die.

And as weird as this statement sounds, the weekend was saved by Jay and Silent Bob.

I had just gotten into the con, and my first thing I needed to do was get in line for my picture with Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith. Jason was going to be there for the con itself, but Kevin however was literally there that one day for that one dual photo op with Mewes. I have a lot of admiration for Kevin Smith as a writer and as a creator and person in general and knew this may well be the most I’ll ever get to do in terms of meeting him.

Now, I will say this – I had not felt particularly well this day. But I also hadn’t felt well for a while, hence why I had gone to an ASAP appointment with my surgeon and tests and the looming procedure two weeks from my trip. So I wasn’t phased really. It was what it was and had been. I had things to do.

Unfortunately, just before I went up for my photo op, when I had just a few people in line before me, something went wrong in my body. Suddenly I was dizzy, and realized I was going to be ill. Apparently, my blood pressure dropped, my O2 dropped, and, ultimately, I dropped. To top off this horribleness, I vomited as I went down. Hello, hundreds or so people around me. I am Chronically Ill Girl, and you are not used to my horrible body.

To make this portion of the story as short as possible: I was not well, the Wizard World staff took very good care of me, until the EMT arrived, checked me out, and had me wheeled away to the first aid station, where I was urged to go to the hospital considering everything going on with my past medical history as well as my current concerns. In reality, I should have agreed for them to call the ambulance. But I was already heartbroken that I’d missed my one shot to see Kevin Smith, and I wasn’t about to miss seeing Adam West and Burt Ward on top of everything else. (I know, I KNOW. To be fair, I wasn’t thinking clearly.) I got cleaned up and changed and went on with my day.

When I was walking away from my photo op with Adam West and Burt Ward, I was weaving through the booths, and saw that Jason Mewes was at his table doing autographs. I figured I could salvage some of that photo op mishap by at least meeting Mewes. One half was better than not at all, right? And at least I had hopes he didn’t know I was the girl that went down in the line outside. It was a mortifying thought – having him find out I was the girl that vomited, that they made a huge scene over and rushed away.

And he didn’t know… Until my mother told him.


So at this point, I’m feeling embarrassed all over again, and I’m ready to shuffle off with my autograph and hide in the corner, especially since I still felt like I was dying. But that’s when Mewes told me he felt terrible for what happened with me, and that I didn’t get to meet Kevin.

Then he took my number and gave it to his assistant at the table. And told me he’d help me meet Kevin before he left for his flight. Hugs and selfies and many “Thank you”s. I cried when I walked away. I couldn’t believe this was happening to ME.

Now, I’ve been very nervous about actually talking about this, because what was done for me was something I didn’t ask for or expect, and I don’t want someone to ever take advantage of the kindness of others. (I’ll touch more on this in a moment.) But still, this kindness meant more to me than I think either of them realized.

So, I went back to my hotel room to shower and rest and in general gear myself up for a few more minutes at con and to prepare myself to somehow meet Kevin Smith.

When 5pm rolled around, my mom and I were waiting in the hotel lobby, as instructed, with promise that Kevin knew I was there waiting for him. I was weak and dizzy and severely anemic, but absolutely determined not to miss this opportunity.

And then I saw him heading my way, iconic jersey and all, and I completely lost focus of how bad I felt as my brain took over. There was a brief exchange of pointing – Yes, I am who you’re looking for, and you’re who I’m looking for! – as he came my way.


I got to meet Kevin Smith. I got to hug him, and take selfies, and he asked how I was feeling. And I GOT TO MEET KEVIN SMITH. He was incredibly kind, and embodied more awesome than I thought any one person could.

The admiration I have for him already on top of how absolutely freaking AMAZING it was that he and Mewes did this for me made my entire trip. Unfortunately, not long after this, I went downhill again. But for this amount of time, I was on top of the world.

Rage against death by making some art today.

It really sparked a fire in me. I want to create things while I still can. And if ever, for some insane reason, someone looks to me like I do to him, I will do all I can to help make their day too. Someday, even, I’d like to repay Jason and Kevin both. Because something so small and simple to one person, can mean the whole world to another. This was the highlight of my trip, and has turned around the doom and gloom attitude I’ve had toward my health. I can accomplish anything I want, and I don’t have to let anything get in my way. It doesn’t matter if I live ten more years or 60 more.

I will rage against death.

But now, I’d like to talk about the reason I’ve decided to repost this, and why I decided to post it here, and possibly send the link to Kevin even this time. It’s because I’ve seen some things that have made me uneasy as a human, not even just a fan. And it’s because of exactly what I said above, as well as in the original post: what was done for me was something I didn’t ask for or expect, and I don’t want someone to ever take advantage of the kindness of others, or worse, lash out at someone over things out of their control. And I feel like I’m seeing this a lot lately.


My main point is this: Be good to each other. In a world full of ugliness, don’t add to it.

I am forever grateful for any kindness I am shown. My experience in Reno was life changing for me, and it was such a simple gesture of kindness from two amazing guys that didn’t know me. I feel like I owe them so much more than I can ever give back to them. I didn’t ask Mewes to help me. I didn’t demand he contact Kevin. I didn’t blow up anyone’s Twitter demanding angrily that he meet me since I missed the photo op, or tell him to give me the $100 back. I didn’t try to sneak in an autograph. I didn’t want to feel like I was using my disease to get special treatment, so I didn’t even want to bring it up in the first place.

I was, and am still, very grateful that they took the time to do this for me. And in turn, I feel the need to sing their praises. Because Jay and Silent Bob saved the day for me.

Take a moment before you send the angry Tweet, write the letter, compose your comments, or post your blogs. Instead, show love and support regardless of what extra can be done for you. Or, better yet, become someone that someone else can look up to, and do something incredible for them one day.

Have a great day, everyone, and please remember kindness, always. You never know what sort of day someone is having.


13 thoughts on “Rage Against Death: On Meeting Kevin Smith

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